Monday, January 6, 2014


When I got my cancer diagnosis, suddenly thoughts of cancer started to dominate every aspect of my life. The chemo port in my chest is a constant reminder that something is terribly wrong. My life is different in ways large and small right now. I crave to sense of normalcy from my pre diagnosis days. I want to be concerned with the mundane aspects of life.
 So, even thought it was -4 windchill with several inches of snow on the ground here yesterday, my husband and I went for a run. It is just what we do. We were both runners when we met, and we built our relationship over hours, days, weeks, months and years of running together. We are not a dinner and a movie kind of couple. We prefer to be out, pounding out miles together, discussing everything from the very run of the mill (what are we having for dinner) to much deeper topics. We have solved major problems in our life while out doing long runs together. 
  A month after we met, we ran the Wyoming marathon together. It was a small field, and I came in first female. Here we are at the finish. 
A week later, we ran the Taos marathon together. Soon afterwards, we ran the snow mountain ranch marathon together. We have run countless miles and races together since then.  Running is a very big part of our relationship. It is a special bond we have together. When I ran the Vermont 100 this past summer, it was my husband who ran with me for 30 miles through the night, and I wouldn't have wanted anyone else with me during my first 100 miler.
 So yesterday, we hit the trails despite the cold, windy, snowy weather. 
And after a frigid run, we took our youngest daughter to American girl. She has been saving up to buy Caroline.

And then we came home and watched the football playoffs and had dinner together as a family. Even though I am very much aware of what is to come in the next week, it felt as close to normal as it is going to be for a while. I am grateful for normal.

1 comment:

  1. You don't know me but a friend of yours, Dan Smith, asked me to contact you. I know EXACTLY what you're going through right now and the wild mood swings you're experiencing. The mental part is as hard as the physical part of fighting cancer. Trust me, you "I believe" you CAN beat it so stay positive and fight, fight, fight. It would be a great idea to keep up your running even when you feel like throwing up from the horrible side effects of chemo. Did you know Lance Armstrong rode 50 miles a day during chemo? You should keep a positive attitude even though you feel like, well you know? I wrote a book about how I handled all the wild emotions and what I took to cure my cancer after my doctors stopped ALL treatment and sent me home to die. So I'm LIVING proof you can survive. I hope that gives you peace and comfort. See my story at: